Thank You Vh1's "Sorority sisters" and Here's Why

Sorority's and fraternities are outraged about the new show "sorority sisters" with very good reason.  I did not protest the show last night.  I took an opportunity to view what I knew would be disrespectful, embarrassing, and irresponsibly presented to the public to make African American look even more ratchet than we are already portrayed on national television.  I would like to say that "Sorority Sisters" was everything that I imagined it to be and I applaud every girl in the show.  I am not giving the Sorority Sisters cast praise because it was entertaining by any means.  I am giving the show praise because "Sorority Sisters" are giving African American fraternities and sororities a wake up call!  You can't have an honest discussion about fraternity or sorority values and what they really portray to the community as an outsider looking in without getting into a physical altercation.  Most but not all the girls on the show represented their respecting fraternity in a catty, annoying, and egotistical manner and these girls who showed their asses at the Delta event on the show should be ashamed.  To all the frats and sorors across the world (at least the one's I know) the show did a great job of putting a mirror(no pun intended aka's)  up and it is getting you to look long and hard at how the community views you and I have to say from my experience that mirror Vh1 showed is quite accurate. Don't get it confused I am a male and I am not greek.  Although, I am involved in other organizations in which greeks are apart of my team. But, I am not a frat or soror "hater."  My girlfriend is a member of a sorority and if I found a group of men in my community who are frat who hold my values tight I would join that frat.  But, Here's the problem.The original Fraternities were started 

To promote a more perfect union among college men; to aid in and insist upon the personal progress of its members; to further brotherly love and a fraternal spirit within the organization; to discountenance evil; to destroy ALL prejudices; to preserve the sanctity of the home, the personification of virtue and the chastity of woman and to Help alleviate problems concerning girls and women in order to improve their social stature and be a service to ALL mankind.

The founders wanted you to have a bond with your brothers and sisters but most younger frats forget about their other brothers and sisters in the world.  Most frats and sorors don't join for their organization for the betterment of the community; they join for self.  Frats and sorors I know join separate themselves from your own race; not physically but distinctively and socially.   Men let's be real; a lot of you join so you can get more pussy on campus and use women for their sexual prowess, instead of joining to help your fellow sister be uplifted.  I am not saying African American greek organizations and it's members are menaces to society. Yes, you do a great job with the big brothers and the big sister programs on campus with many others but for the most part most frats and sorors don't represent the community. African American Greeks represent their colors! Most will fight die for you colors but not your color.  Understandably so because it's a large portion of African American don't know their history even though some organizations have Egyptian and African symbols displayed in their logos.  This separation from history and sometimes family in a lot of African American families creates a perfect fraternity brothers and sisters.  Some people long for familiarity, family, and a proud history because they grew up with none of these essential to finding their identity.  But, instead of being a diplomat for your people, most become a mindless soldier in your organization fighting for those who pledged with you.  I applaud those who take a stand in your organizations like the sorors who stood up to their organizations when they said they could not where their letters to protest the atrocities going on against Black America.  Your colors should proudly fly in the face of any oppressor to show our unity.  For African American greek organization heads to want to separate themselves from protest shows how out of touch our organizations are with their community.  I've even seen instances where individual's in our greek organization in the same organization on the same campus are fighting among themselves over who "crossed" the correct way. Your attention and energy was merely taken from being active in the community for all black Americans to become active inside of a chapter meeting.  

You should be in local government board meetings too, conferences should be about betterment of your people not just your organization.  Unfortunately, some members are so caught up in your colors, fighting at step shoes, and insulting one another sometimes I can't tell the difference between a crip and a blood and an alpha or kappa. Look around; look at the news.  We as whole unit of African Americans are losing the battle.  Each individual organization has the power to change the community but together you can change the world.  This is a simple case of divide and rule.

Divide and conquer is gaining and maintaining power by breaking up larger concentrations of power into pieces that individually have less power than the one implementing the strategy. The concept refers to a strategy that breaks up existing power structures and prevents smaller power groups from linking up.  It's time for our African American fraternities and sororities to come together. Unfortunately, you had to come together under these circumstances but it is a start and you have "Sorority Girls" to thank for it.

From 1 Black eye to another

No punches held back

Cortez Toks

Letter to my "baby momma"

"Baby Mommas" do more damage in the African American community to the African American males than any U.S police force in the nation!! How do I know? I have an african American Baby Mother.  I am starting to see more and more men in my situation.  The days of the African American man who run away from their responsibilities are declining.  I don't need stats and figures just look on your fb feeds.  Look at the most gangster players proudly displaying their children on your feed. Whether its genuine or not black men are staying in their children's lives and i see it heavily in my community.  A lot young black kids my age grew up without their father in the 80's.  We have seen and felt the pain of a father never being there.  This has sparked a change for a new generation of who are now adults and parents themselves.  But, there is a problem.   There is a very influential group in our community trying to stop this change and sadly the very person who wants to stop this change are the women who claim they loved black men.

See the black women in the 80's grew up the same way in the same split homes.  80's women watched their mother call their fathers names and say " he ain't shit" and "i am your daddy." Now, repeat that same black male hating information for her whole childhood and then lets add American values to this equation of the black woman. The television, department stores, and the movies puts cute babies in these girl's hands as a toddlers.  The princess in the movies gets married and saved by Prince Charming (her husband). So, subconsciously you want to get married and have the perfect tv family like your mother didn't have. "But wait there's more!" lets not forget to take this false reality and mix insecurity and hate for their fathers with the new hip hop culture! The Hip Hop culture displays you as a sexual object and you are treated as such.  Men grow up wanting that ass and you want Prince Charming so you give a young sex driven boy who is trying to impress his buddies by emulating the stars and the player uncle who always ask "how many girlfriends you got," and if you say 2 or more he gave you some candy.   Now, let you give "Prince Charming" your soul and your most precious possession and let him trample and spit on it for you to give the next guy to do it a handful more times. "O shit I think I know why my baby mother is a psycho, we have created a monster America!!" 

Now before I continue I have to say to my baby momma and all the spiteful baby mommas in the world i'm sorry for what this cruel world has done to you queens. Now, baby mommas move on!!  You are destroying the essential fabric or your race.  Get your queen status back and uplift us once again.  The cards are stacked against a black man already.  We are getting murdered by the police, murdered by other black males, and thrown in jails at disproportionate rates.  Why are you against us too?  I've seen a young black man's license taken by the government because he was a few hundred dollars behind on child support working two jobs on state ordered child support because the baby mother kept tencare.  What's upsetting is he was paying for his child to have insurance and working two jobs to feed his families but his baby mother had a  "we don't need you we got this" attitude.  She laughs to her friends because he is incarcerated and now without a job because he couldn't get to work.  Somehow an individual can find comedic relief in helping the state keep a  black man from his two families.  How could you help put a black man in jail baby mommas? You might as well be the system.  That is not even the worst story I have to tell.  Some baby mother's have crime stoppers on their top call list.  They use the police to black mail their baby fathers!!  Do i agree with young black men selling drugs to their community? Of course not but, the point is people in the streets are not surprised to see how many black men get snitched on or set up by the mother of their children and that is a major problem. If you are mad at your baby daddies for these reasons reasons I am talking to you! 1. he loves someone else 2. he is doing better at life than you 3. you think you cant get another man because he knocked you up and "what man wants a girl with kids" 4. he is having intercourse another girl.  First of all a man does not determine your worth or self value. #2 you have something more important than that man and thats your child.  Your spiteful actions against are not just destroying young black men's lives you are unknowingly destroying your child's life.

My baby mother and I don't have a sexual relationship.  Matter of fact she is married.  But she still expresses how much she loves me and wish we could "work it out."  When I go pick up my daughter she always subtly explains how me and my new girl's relationship wouldn't work based on purely what she saw.  "she doesn't have enough ass for you; you are an ass man." "ill let you try her but you know nobody was better than me." Baby momma stop!! This is not the worst.  I actually don't care what she says no matter how disrespectful as long as she doesn't  step out of line to make my significant other uncomfortable.  My problem is that she is killing our child's future.  Like most good baby father's I don't  mind paying child support if you spend it on the child and I don't mind going an extra mile for our child even if that means dealing with your evil ass.   Like most baby mothers she  argues and says disrespectful things about me in front of our child and when she gets upset for whatever reason my child goes missing.  They really go missing, I feel like putting their picture on a milk carton, putting out an amber alert , and calling Nancy Grace.  This can go on for months.  Using children as leverage to get what you want has to stop in our community.

Baby mothers stop disrespecting you baby father in front of your children.  How you talk about your baby father and how you treat him most likely will be mirrored by your child.  If she is a girl she will mirror your disrespectful actions with good men in her future. You are setting up her for failure in her future relationships and she will most likely another lonely frustrating baby mother.  If he is a boy this will turn into rage and anger for the opposite sex and other black males because his image has been ridiculed and criticized to the point to where his self value is diminished. My baby mother like a lot of baby mothers try to use kids as a leverage to hurt their baby mothers but I will say this again; this has to stop!!  Your arguments as parents wrong or right should not prevent a father from seeing his children. You don't need studies and pie charts to figure out a child needs his father but subconsciously a broken baby mother wants her daughter to grow up like her if necessary.  "that i don't need you we good without you mentality" is the reason why our little black boys are growing up more feminine and our little girls are having sex at a young age and looking for love and father figure in all the wrong places.  This mentality is the reason our little boys look for guidance in gangs and entertainment.  Baby mothers will you continue to contribute to the black man's demise for your own interest.  If you have a good black man who wants to participate in his child's life no matter what he did to you I ask you to please forgive him. Not for him, not for you, but for a fair shot at life for your children.  I am not saying hateful baby mother's are the only reason for our issues in the community.  I am saying the change of a community begins with you and our community desperately needs a makeover.  We need two parents raising our kids in these tough times.  WE need to see black man uplifted so they wont grow up hating themselves and the women wont grow up not trusting black men to be man.  If you have a black man stepping up to the plate let him take a swing every time he's a bat for your child.  Stop hurting us  baby mother we might not be in love with you but we have love for you to become the queen that you are.  You cant take your place back.  Move on you deserve Prince Charming but you cant build your new home with just an iron hammer you need a team and a foundation.  And if you want our children to find love, know respect for herself and her people I need your help.  I'll pick up our daughter at 4:00pm if  that's okay with you.